he was totes born to be my unicorn

listen. i hate to have to tell you guys what to do all the time, but i hope you have started to LEARN that you should be LISTENING to me. now pay attention. do you have $12.99 and a need for awesomeness in your life? then please hightail it over to your nearest ITUNES APPLICATION and DOWNLOAD the entire season of THE ROCK LIFE.

what is the rock life? seven episodes of "reality" amazingness following around my #1 bone fantasy cisco adler and his sadly reallllly bad band whitestarr. oh they are terrible. really. but oh my dear god, so funny to watch. this show aired originally on the video hits 1 like, 2 months ago and i have no idea how i let a tv show starring cisco escape my attention but hey, I AM VERY BUSY. (for the record..a small part of me wants to believe that this is all an elaborate joke because it seems like SUCH a satire of band-tryin-to-make-it but..this kind of LA life all seems like a bit of an elaborate joke, right?)

so let me just break down a few things here, let you get to KNOW the boys of whitestarr.

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ok first, this dude? his name is RAINBOW. rainbow jeramy. remember mango? he is kinda like that crossed with dr teeth +janis from the electric mayhem with a little bit of like, spinal tap on the side there. dude wears blue eyeshadow and neckerchiefs and the tiniest girl jeans ever. oh and he has the biggest afro i have ever seen. he is horrible to his girlfriend and loves guitar solos.

2. this bro is TONY POTATO. he is pretty useless. he has a law degree and cannot get laid. his entire function in the band is as 'DANCER' and is basically the whipping boy.

3. damon. this dude gets like eleven seconds of screen time the whole season. they take him to get a colonic. and they all watch it. that's about it for damon. oh, in later episodes he wears a top hat.

4.ORBI is roy orbison's son. i am convinced that orbi is 45. he is sober and has a giant tattoo on his back that says ORBI. i guess in case he forgets? they take rainbow drunk surfing for his birthday and when he pukes afterward, orbi yells 'welcome to malibu, bitch'. and i think he thought he was being clever.

5. BEST FOR LAST, OBVVVVSSSSSS. ok, until now my obsession with cisco was entirely based on paparazzi photos and random youtube videos..but after i watched this i was like..cisco is AMAZING...even DB had to concede that he seems like a pretty awesome dude. he is the only one trying to make it happen for these guys really, and kinda seems to have his shit together. plus he is naked a lot and wears like 45 different jangles an hour. and even when he says shit like 'girls will fucking follow me into a river of ACID, brah'..i still love him.
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