slave 4 u (darota 4eva remix)

ohhhhh LORD HELP ME, it's been DAYS since i've blogged and i feel so strange..! so many boys and beers and bros and bidness. i have missed you, inernetz and various internetz friends.

i had to take a mental health HIATUS to the country. it was a glorious 48 hours and a post on that is to come.

BUT LET'S GET DOWN TO THE REAL BUSINESS. which is gossip girl. which is everything.

let me start by saying that holiday episodes of teen shows are always a favorite and while this one did not disappoint, last year's blair-limia & gay daddy story was slightly better. BUT. there was a lot to discuss.

1. serena is so so insanely annoying. seriously.

"aaron talks about his nana all the time" um..he does?
you've been dating 2 weeks. and he spends a lot of that time with other girls.
that;s a lot of nana chat. (fail)

i just want to get this straight:
in your precious serena/aaron time, in between MUSE-ING it up and inspiring this kind of "art" ( i made notations for you, my dear readers):

before and after and during these inspiring photo sessions and presumably lots of boning, he has time to "always" talk about his nana. that's weird, serena. i am just saying.

i like how she had to deal with his decision to 'play the field', but he won't let HER drink some champs to um..celebrate him NOT playing the field. yaay, selfish aholes!

he's so psyched on his 8 years late conor oberstness:

also, D Humphs is so lame.

2. emancipation proclamation gets the gasface.

i liked at the end where she stood in the doorway holding the papers in the rip ready position waiting to make the dramatic move. it was very end-of-goonies-when-they-find-the-jewels.
[if you were wondering, haircut is still on FAIL list.]

also this:

is akin to when you play hide-and-seek with a 4 yr old and they hide behind a lamp.

3. hiiiii. hi. hi there.

4. hideous and innapropz for almost anything:

this outfit is horrible. period.

5. i have a bit of a NEED TO KNOW about D money here:

first, i hope you all caught slave 4 U as her ringtone. unrealular. love it.
secondly..where the fuck is she supposed to be from? what kind of name is darota??? and she seems 20 years too young to have been blairs handmaiden since birth, no? juuuuust wondering.

6. amazing amazing i love rich people amazing

haaaaaahahahahhahaa. gold bars!!! and zach morris' cell phone from the first season of saved by the bell, WOW. IMPRESSIVE STUFF, BARTHOLOMEW!

6. i just like lily's face here. also, where can i get leather envelopes? can i send mail with solid gold stamps?

7. ok, not to be a stickler for REALITY, but two things that are realllllly not adding up and they are as follows.

where did they find blair and lil J? 77 and 3rd or something? blair is not far from there. lil J lives on WATER STREET. in BROOKLYN. they were going to "drop her", presumably on the way?
let me save you the google mapz, non-new yorkers. that shit is like nowheres no way no howz anywhere near each other.

one more thing...the archibalds would NEVER live in a ground floor apartment. 99% of those buildings are doctors offices on the ground floor. (the rich people don't want you to be able to see into their luxury. DUH.)

speaking of which- the nate dad storyline was snoozefesty and so i don't care.

but this little ENDER:

was innnteresting.
what is this "letter" i hear of? words are written by hand on paper and received DAYS later, through a postal service? OUTRAGEOUS! next you'll tell me that there is a train that runs under the ground.

but dios mio, ethnic friend is getting spicy! ("picante"). she realllly wants nate that badly? fer serious?ay ay ay.

next time:
2 WEEKS until it's back...sadface!


niki said...

best recap ever? i burst out laughing at this one: "...is akin to when you play hide-and-seek with a 4 yr old and they hide behind a lamp.

laia. said...

i am so glad you are alive!!

who are all these boyz you speak of? hook a girl up.

arienette said...

you do the best recaps ever!
CONOR OBERST! man alive.
i need to catch up on episodes badly... xx

JLKING said...

darota is my favorite character on GG. there is no mystery however, she's just blair's human blackberry. she comes from blackberry country?

Luce said...

YES! serena's outfit was SO inappropriate. and so, still, is jenny's hair.

T-Bonz said...

Aaron's "art" stole that tiny underwear from Eli Cash's wall. lame.

Eyeliah @ stylesymmetry.com said...

I SOOOO look forwards to your show recaps. Yes, serena looks horrid (most the time but this is THE WORST!). My fav was Dorotas ring tone, how hilarious!!! and I thought too about how far it would be to drive Jenny, lmao!! and the rip up of the forms, what a freakin drama queen lil j is!
Also hated how Eric went to show everyone their files, Bart will obviously know that Chuck helped him get them. ugh.

s_d said...

i was discussing w/a friend about nates letter
and she said it made he laugh so much because his writing looks like a seven year olds haha

Oh Lady E said...


e.ss said...

Hilarious recap. That photo wall is painful. And the cardboard briefs??? Nice pick up.

P. said...

ughhhh I can't STAND Serena or Aaron

Enfievre said...

this show makes me so happy.

shannie cakes said...

aaron is totally turning into a creepy stalker who locks S in a cupboard under the stairs-- mark my words.

if i went to some guys house who i was casually seeing and there was a wall of my face, i'd turn heel right out of there.

creepy wall of faces is creepy.

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