we fight we break up we kiss we make up*

holy SHIT you guys. still coming down from the HIGH.

where to start on this episode?!

ok FIRST OF ALL? did i miss some sort of t-mobile sidekick special cellphone-isodes or some shit? HOW DID BART DIE? i mean, duh, he died. we all knew it was coming but like, we went from, there's been an accident to funeral.

did anyone else find that super weird? no? just me?

ok moving on. bart is dead, lily need to thank the picture editor at the times, grandma is mean.

1. serena is a CLASS ACT

i myself choose to eat breakfast with my grandmother like this. i buy the lingerie at the 'whores in mourning' store. (whourning?)

also, really?

FOR A FUCKING FUNERAL. your STEP FATHER'S FUNERALLLLLLLLL. i hate you serena. you are fail personified (tied with your new and old boyfriends. who are sexless bores)

2. tbonz called it; this is chuck giving TWILIGHT:

i am personally FEELING IT. i know you're shocked.
let's look again.

sexy hot mess. as i was told in a text during the show "you love sad tragic boys". (guilty?)


how does anyone want to fuck somebody who has a drawer in his bathroom for eye makeup and nail polish. i am serious. how is this appealing? I don't know to apply eyeliner and i am a 30 year old LADY (with a blog. that recaps teenage television shows. ok, shut up).

ok so where was i?

4. so many things tonight were kind of 'duh' (like lily and rufus' SECRET LOVE CHILD, barf, lame, annoying) but i kind of did NOT see this coming..blair GOING FOR IT.

shall we?


(holy shit)

OMGGGGGGG. die. DIE. dying. dead. i love you chuck.

6. blair has a loving dad now, and he is very small!

"only a masochist could love such a narcissicist" !! ohhh blair. so much SADNESS and only SIXTEEN! it totally gets easier (nopes) EDITTTT: oopsydoops. BDubz is 18. forgive me. my brain can only hold so much.

7. guess what though, blair's mom got married and now blair is jewish and her stepbrother is serena's boyrfriend and SERENA'S stepbrother is blair's! good grief.
aww someone looks pretty!

8. these two had some bullshit i don't care about. buenos aires, old boy, new boy, yawns this week. i still call bullshit on no sex between them though...i mean..wha?



kinda swoony and still teary

heartbreaks. SERIOUS.


but but but WHAT in the WHAT?

(this is funny because not only is it TERRIBLY INSANE to make us wait this long for a new episode, blair's new dad was in the princess bride and says this catchphrase often. VERY FUNNY, ELIZABETH!)

*will not forgive keren dave or brendan for getting this song stuck in my head.


laia. said...

i totally fell in love 100 bajillion times more with chuck tonight!

also: i couldnt believe fuckin lily wanted to go awaay with emo dad the day after the funeral. so gross!!

i love wallace shawn.

camille said...

'You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.'

haha, i love the princess bride. i also love chuck bass.

Six Six Sick said...

yeah, did I miss an episode or something? How did we go from "accident" to "funeral"?

Lucy said...

YES! thats exactly what i thought when i first saw that guy! I love it when they are playing the poisoned wine game. INCONCEIVABLE.

Paula said...

this is the best review ever! haha I don't even care that in Argentina we're about the THIRD! episode of the season, I feel I watched it!

Serena is getting so boring, Blair and Chuck are just perfect together and that picture in the bed OMFG so beautiful.

erin said...

best! episode! ever! i watched it Sunday night, then again Monday, and still raced to my computer this morning hoping for your recap. aaaaaand i'm 30 too... and don't know how to apply eyeliner... but am somehow not ashamed in the least?

brendan donnelly said...

i still have never seen an episode of this show.

duuuude you gotta have "hot and cold" in your head!! its party music

la mode est dans le ciel said...


and i love chuck's handwriting.

E. said...

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY. This had made my day about five bajillion times better.

Eyeliah said...

Chuck Bass looked fabulous in this episode I agree!! I will probably watch it 5x before the new episode in Jan lol~ But Blair just turned 18, she's not 16 anymore... :-)

Aviva said...

It felt like the ending of the Sopranos when that JANUARY 5 message popped up. I just didn't understand.

I'm so loving Chuckles de-pomaded manhair. It looks so much more approachable, like even a girl below Delancey St could possibly lay that manfish.


Enfievre said...


JLKING said...

can i just throw something out there? what if season 2 ends like the first and we find out that serena is involved in the murder of daddy bass?!! of course no one knows how he dies yet, serena has to lie and lie and LIE herself into a black hole before we find out.

i haven't even watched this episode yet! Tuesdays are GG night for me because the boyfriend works late.

Tavi said...

Her new pop is also in Clueless and The Incredibles! What a cool guy.

Anonymous said...

that was the best gg episode yet. and the best recap ever!? firstly, whourning. and secondly, you referenced PASSIONS. bahaha.

but how will i survive family christmas without gossip girl!?

eyeliner is an unnecessary skill

Kathryn Heller said...

I just died laughing at the picture. Inconceivable! haha.

elysia mann said...

i DID find it very strange that they went from "ACCIDENT!" to "he's dead, yo." this totally was the best best BEST chuck episode...ever. and i literally said "ohhh shiiiaaaattt" out loud when blairbear played the ily card!!!

geri hirsch said...

hahaha. love the review! i was confused too from crash to funeral and almost died when i read january 5!

not keren said...

i am so into your and nymag's recaps. i definitely wish i hadn't called of my GG nite last night because I WAS DYING and only james was there to share in my love of this episode. also, can we please discuss that CRAZY MCDONALDS KEITH SWEAT CHICKEN NUGGETS COMMERCIAL!??!

also, glad to get some katy perry in your head. she rules.

besos y fotos: the virtual sketchbook said...

well, mostly it has all been covered..including the fact that bdonns has never watched--what the F..he should come to the next GG night..
umm. yea. lame. i want a recap of the accident coverage in between now+january 5th!..i mean how come the frickin' PI dude is fine, not even a scratch..hmm??
i did shed a tear. honestly, i was actually glad to be home alone so i could truely cheese out on my couch...he was awesome+screwed+hotter than ever.
(I LOVE BLAIR now..she's the most reasonable character at this point).
serena sucks..she needs to start doing coke or something b/c dude really sucks my ass+she's a slut+it doesn't jibe.
also, is it not a little strange that everyone was gonna disappear for the holidays+leave nice-but-naive gay boy at home alone?!
p.s. i really fell off the wagon+got the leggings+chloes.
big oopsEdoops..but it was worth it!right? right!?..handmade presents this year cause i'm an addict..oi vey.

roxanne said...

this post was too funny. it was really an excuse for chuck to get all deliciously angsty and flex his jerk muscles, but i loved every second of it..

Unknown said...

that photo of serena made me think of that quote from "reality bites"

And there's everybody at my funeral wearing halter tops or chokers or some shit like that.

Anonymous said...

Actually saw the lovechild thing a mile off. Blair + Chuck 4EVA. i still think Dan > Aaron (hmmm... writer over artist? Also yes.) Jenny's hair annoys me more every week. Cyrus is amazing.

Oh, and I totes thought that about Serena's lingerie and funeral outfit. Even her wedding outfit was up around her groin. She's all class.

Oh, did I tell you that Chuck grew up in the town next to mine? Funnily enough, after I moved to London I did an internship at a magazine and the girl I was interning with is the girlfriend of one of the boys in his band and used to work as an assistant stylist on GG. She was all blase about him because she's known him forever. On her Facebook is all like regular pictures of them just chillaxing, you know. I pretended to be cool and unimpressed, obviously.

Ok, that's my claim to fame. It's lame.

J. said...

it was SO EPIC. chuck...chuck... CHUCK. yes, that about sums it up.

Michelle said...

I F'ING LOVE LOVE LOVE gossip girls, especially chuck. I thought I was the only one to notice serena's whorishness too, damnnn good episode.

dana said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dana said...

oh chuck...
& when they played the acoustic version of signs when blair was holding him...i just about cried right there

Violet said...

favorite episode.. i am now slightly attracted to chuck never thought id say that but his drunkin rampage is kinda hot... and yes it is torture to make us wait until the new year.. sigh

Violet said...

yes and the dress that serena wore was kinda cocktialish not for a funeral i over looked and didnt think others would think the same

Emily said...

ok, so I don't really know how to work this blog nonsense, nor do I even know how I stumbled across your blog, but dear god am I glad I did. because, HELLO, you encompass all of my favorite things? rachel zoe? new york city? CHUCK BASS?! I feel as though we're sharing a brain. you must have most of it though, since I cant work an any-idiot-can-do-it website. in conclusion, I bow to your blogging prowess. and your stellar Gossip Girl commentary.I don't know what I'm going to do with myself until jan 5th.

AFitz said...

Oh. my. god.


Anonymous said...

ohhhhh my. YES. This was possibly the greatest gossip girl recap evaa.
Thank you for your witty and hilarious banter.

p.s. ilovechuckbass?


Unknown said...


big huge sigh. First of all, the episode almost had me in tears! ...and HOW DID THE DAD DIE? I think it's all a set up so they can bring him back. Lame. I am in love with Chuck even though his "drunk" character really only walked with a limp and moved one arm whilst the other stayed in position. I HATE Serena's new BF.HATE. I adore Blair's face! Great rehash!

I can't believe I have to wait until JAN5 for more crack. Serious withdrawals over here.

Anonymous said...

I gave you an award on my blog! Yay!

Erina said...

i agree 100% with everything! especially the princess bride "inconceivable" part!! awesome.

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