that zebra carpet really challenged me

hoooolleeeeee shizbomb. forgive me, everyone. i have not gotten deep into the MET GALA slideshows until right now and i am kinda reeling. it was sort of the best one yet, mabes cuz i'd rather see models dolled up than lame actresses. that's just ME.

allow me to begin with the "kids, stay off of drugs" award which goes to...kate moss. or at least, this lady formerly known as kate moss:

it's kind of a bummer, isn't it?
upside: you look great marc! pants! novel!

speaking of fallen iconz..SOMEONE WAS AT THE LADY GAGA SHOW SATURDAY NIGHT (truefax) and is FEELING JEALLYBALLZ that she is not the #1 chameleon anymore:

mmmkayyyy madonna. mmkay. pokerface, we got it.
ps, gaga already wore those boots last week, sorrs.

more LV, in the most shocking of ways:

fucking crapballs, leighton. i am torn between OMFG, i toooootally wanna wear that TOO and uh..these pictures'll be around for a long time, know what ahm sayin? hmm. fencing it, fer now.

the SIT NEXT TO ME award goes to:

ALT. killing it, covering it, being it, living it.
wait is he smuggling someone in? is he fashion trojan horse? or the dread pirate roberts?
haahah. okay, i just cracked myself up.


i need to discuss this:

DR LISA, i applaud you. balmain gets one free pass from me and HERE IT IS.
question: what does she wear when you see her for a dermatologist appointment? avant shouldered white jackets with a rodarte legging? swarovski encrusted stethoscope? one would hope. FINGERS CROSSED.

debbie...is this a bea arthur tribute?

clogs? ANKLE? how racy!

what? no jangles? no color? no more mullet?
so low key, kan!! i was hopin for a crazy SOCK at least.

dear satan:
if i pledge my eternal soul to you CAN I LOOK 1/4 AS HOT AS DIANE VON FURSTERNBURG? at HALF her AGE? eva longoria looks so PTA mom next to DVF. top drawer, lady. love it.

AWESOME. (kristen mcmenamy! julien dy's!)

awesomer? (lacroix, sweetie!)

"oh, this? vintage helmut lang. pants. messy ponytail. why? BECAUSE I AM STELLA TENNANT, DUDES. no more questions."

uh...i think jack white is kinda really hot. i feel uncomfortable admitting this. are you ok with it?

you know what else is making me uncomf? in a seriously fantastic way?

british boy(s).
oh. hello. hi.

did i miss anyone who was dopeshow?


hard liquor; soft holes said...

i imagine dr. lisa popping my pimples in prada calf-skin waders and an leger spandex white smock saying, "you really shouldn't eat so much chocolate," while philip treacy fits her for a hat.

Young Damsel said...

madonna looks...interesting.
leighton, i will always love her.
that balmain dress is stunning!!
and olsen's dress, speechless! she looks gorg!

oh and as for chuck bass...
yeah, nothing i can say will describe how amazing he looks.


geri hirsch said...

you are officially my favorite!

May Kasahara said...

Stella Tennant FTW

besos y fotos: the virtual sketchbook said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
besos y fotos: the virtual sketchbook said...

you should be getting paid for this.
spot on as always tootsEface.

i'm SOOOO with you on madame DVF, she's OUTTA CONTROL SLAMMIN'.

kate+mk are looking good on the regs.

leighton is luxurious in that get outtatown get-up.

mr dre looks like he got your memo on the fancy snuggles blanket.

indeed, madonna looks like she's trying WAY too hard...the topper and a tux would've been more likely to appeal to the african baby committee.

also i saw debbie in the cargo cropped version of that look at the john waters opening a month ago..it's hard to watch such solid style icons go the way of lane bryant.

kanye-snoozefest. seriously, he shoulda brought a little somethin'somethin..he would've looked great with a panther or parrot as accessory..at the very least, one of karls gloves or a M jackson sequined sock.

+as ever, mr bass, scrumptious.

absolutely not said...

the genius behind the whole yeezy/amber look? they KNEW you were all expecting them to show up dressed as a lawn chair and larry the cable guy. and what did they do? the exact opposite....showing up looking like sting and his hot wife after some tantr-what? where am i? sorry

Unknown said...

fashion trojan horse! LOVE>IT
splish splash i was takin a bath - the lighting in these photos is so not flattering.

Betty said...

I have to say I actually liked Ashley's outfit better than MK's...Also, I completely agree with you about Jack White, I have a huge crush on him. But I love Karen Elson too much to be jealous. They are the perfect couple

InnyVinny said...

Freshdre Talley is KILLING IT. Are his shoes Swarov-encrusted? I think they are.

Fantastic list, my dear.

Leah said...

ive been waiting all day for this. thank god you hit on kate and eva...they bored/wtf'ed me. leighton and dvf are my favorites by farrr and beyonds. wish you aggy bashed so i could have laughed hardER. all in all your recaps of ANYTHING are such huge epic wins.

miró said...

What did you think of the whole Alaïa scandal?
Over the top or just?


trudatnyc said...

boo! i thought you'd rip ms crawford a new one for her compton prom dress with a thigh-high slit a la

Natalie said...

ed westwick = so sexy. that is all.

Aviva said...

Wow Chuckie's really slimmed down. That Andre LT riff was epic. Love you Lizzie

laia. said...

hahah on lisa airan. she is nuts.

leighton looked INSANE. I didnt hate it, but I certainly didnt like it but I kind LOVE her for it. SO MANY FEELINGS.


i'm gonna point one itsy bitsy thing out... white is standing on the step trying to pull a big man type shiz... urgh


microtard said...

ALT's pilgrim shoes!! Are these from the old lady department at Saks? I think so... but suddenly I distracted by 'craving maize'

Isabel said...

Major "LOLZ" at your Kate Moss commentary. She's still my favourite, but wow...

Unknown said...

Oh my. I laughed so hard.

Awesome post.

Oh but Chuck Bass? Icky. We have better boys, really.



Rachel said...

i thought AW's chanel dress was pretty epic. would love to hear your take.

oh and blake lively with her boobies out AGAIN, looked way trashy.

July Stars said...

It's official: you, my friend, are the BEST fashion commentator in the entire universe! Your mini descriptions are too good. Don't you just love Leon Talley's Marie-Antoinette shoes? I wonder if they have a little heel.

Leah said...

hahaha. you cracked me up too with the dread pirate roberts. and ashley olsen looks stunning, as ususal. love the dress times a million.

Erina said...

this whole post made me laugh so hard, many times!! i love it. kate moss=zzzz and kanye=zzzz.

but ed westwick- what. a. man. you know he lives with chance crawford and they're bffs?!!

etoilee8 said...

I thought Alek Wek looked the best, that night.

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