please play this song on the radio

ladies and gentlemen
is the face of a LAWBREAKER:

how so, you ask?
i'll tell you.
i, dear friends, made the mistake of trying to not only imbibe alcohol but to also eat tacos in state college, pa WITH AN EXPIRED LICENSE.

this is apparently tantamount to mass genocide and/or puppy burning.

i got yelled at by a bouncer who refused to look at me becuase i offended him so and i was almost denied entrance to a sports bar - for DINNER mind you, and while i was with MY MOM and FAMILY- all because of the highly offensive expired license.

state college needs to fucking relax.

from the store 'jamaica junction'..ah, so much comedy, so little time

on the plus side, my lil cuz is all growns up.
it all worked out-
we found a dive bar where they take my kind, i drank 2 dollar bottles of miller high life and something called "statutory grape" which tasted like melted otter pops got us really wasted. oopsydoops.

good times!
how was your weekend?


Caitlin said...

"statutory grape"? amazing i tell you


Leah said...

lol i lol'ed at this. florida state uni is so lax on ID's its ridonk.

Lydia Shahmoon said...


Tavi said...

I can't even bear to look at you, Elizabeth. Or should I say, FEMALE OJ. Awful.

Nicolise said...

aw man, i grew up in state college! glad you found the fun there... i think it gets better once you're legal. so ID-neurotic!

T-Bonz said...

I TOLD you to work that license shit out months ago.

It sounds like I missed good times up in State College. Sad.

miss you so much I can't function.

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