team valentine

i want to bring you into my new weird world, and that includes SOAPNET's beverly hills 90210 reruns in the mornins with my coffee.
yah. you heard me.

so let me say this: i, white lightning, would like to applaud EMILY VALENTINE as this week's number one brain space waster.
emily valentine was first in the line of bad girls to shake up the 90210 gang for brief episode arcs, and i salute her for bringing actual fashion to a show that was supposed to be fashionable.

[sidenote: her best episode is where she gets brandon high on "u4EA" at a rave (hee!) and totals his car. but soapnet hasn't aired that one yet, so i am obsessing over her first.]

this was the status quo. it's not like E.V. had a lotttt of COMPETISH..i mean, what the FUCK was happening in the wardrobe dept? brenda is dressed like ralph kramden. (honeymooners joke? what???)

i have now watched the episode where she makes her triumphant appearance in the halls of west beverly oh, about, 6 times (i do what i want, jeals?).

sorry BRANDO, dylan already asked her out in the parking lot. go shove zuckerman up against the desk of the newspaper office, she was DYING FOR IT.

she gets a date with dylan, brandon, & steve in about ten seconds and shows up to her first day of school on a motorcyle, in a leather jacket and red lips with a guitar. the girls all band against her and call her a slut! jealous bitches!

haters! sidenote, if i had the wherewithall i would start a blog called "what donna wore" cause this bitch was crazytown times infinity. PROPS TO YOU, DONNA MARTIN. i forgot about your levelz.

the writers were def psyched on the creation of this character btw, the name "emily valentine" is uttered like 57 times in the hour.

the time period of this episode is roughly 3 days, i think. but the amount of outfit changes is CRAZY>in one hour there are just SO. MANY.
i can tell you her absolute WORST one: this elementary school librarian tasteful coat ensemble she wore to the peach pit was hidz. this is a date with DYLAN MCKAY bitch, TURN IT OUT.

oy. nate was ALSO smitten with her, as well as david silver. i am surprised that daddy walsh didn't grab her ass while she was in the kitchen but that is more of a move for an ep of the OC.

she shoulda worn this, this shit was hot...tiny tight mini and a david byrne stop making sense-esque GIANT jacket:

dope. she played janis joplin songs on that guitar at lunch. HA!

brenda bitchybitched all over her at a fam bbq while she wore this...what up lissie trullie, i know what you watched last summer, and it was this episode, CAUGHT.

i love her big FINALE outfit the best...leatherdaddy hat, babydoll top, pearls, WHITE LACE TRIMMED BIKE SHORTS and black boots.

amaze. so bad/good. so NOW. haaa.

this is the only time the brat trio rivaled E.V. for fashness, and it's only because they dressed up like the robert palmer girls (you don't want to know the reason why...it's so inane. it involved a song parody called "addicted to clothes"...it's worse than you imagine)


changed my mind, not sparing you. here is the big finale. they "sing" this song instead, and at the end of the episode, brenda and dylan get back together. i'm sure i was SO EXCITED when i was 13 and saw this episode for the first time. oh youth.

note the foreshadowing for uninteresting nerd shooting himself in the face!

ps: no, i do not miss having a job; why do you ask?


Agent Lover said...

I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS POST!! I love me some Emily Valentine! Didn't they have to bring an egg to a liquor store or something to get the location of THE RAVE??

thehistoryofmyfuture said...

*pretty sure he shot himself in the stomach.

Lauren said...

lovin yr blog lady

x said...

that was officially the best thing I have ever read on this thing called the internetz. I'd appreciate it if you wrote a pocket guide to every episode of 90210 and then bound it in that glittery plastic gel stuff they used to make jelly shoes out of, thanks.


I would LIKE to EXCHANGE and EGG.

T-Bonz said...

HOW is it that we are watching the exact same TV when parted by 3000 miles? Do we have that sister ESP?

elle victoire said...

this makes me want to start watching the real 90210! can't wait :D

hard liquor; soft holes said...

i seriously watch that clip every couple of months. LOVE EMILY VALENTINE. FLOAT FIRES FOREVERRRRRRRRRRR..

ps. lissie trullie nee lizzy mcchesney reference 4evs

Shannon said...

um fux YEA
i been watching that shit every morning with my tea (after golden girlz) and EV was gettin' allllllll of 90210 in a tiff.

and omg kelly's all burned up with the lesbo now. there goes the modeling career!

ash said...

yes. my daily routine is 90210 on soapnet for an hour after work. i'd forgotten how good this era is. an unexpected visit from emily valentine, and valerie and ray have just come onto the scene. the holy trinity of kookoo...

edgecakes said...

BO can you please do a 90210 recap post every day? or maybe we could do a live viewing via skype webcamz?? emily valentine/addicted to clothes episode was so. good. awww, poor nerd friend of david silver who shot himself. david silver was the best dancer in school, how can you compete with that anyway?

apocalypstick said...

amazing post. this is what the internet was for.


p.s. that was supposed to be the BH 90210 theme song.

soman said...

You r right, nice read. i was here for download 90210 episodes but read this and like very much.

Soman Bangaree said...

Hey here is an another resource where you can watch and download 90210 Episodes

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