I WANT TO START MY WEEK RIGHT.
i want to bring you into my new weird world, and that includes SOAPNET's beverly hills 90210 reruns in the mornins with my coffee.
yah. you heard me.
so let me say this: i, white lightning, would like to applaud EMILY VALENTINE as this week's number one brain space waster.
emily valentine was first in the line of bad girls to shake up the 90210 gang for brief episode arcs, and i salute her for bringing actual fashion to a show that was supposed to be fashionable.
[sidenote: her best episode is where she gets brandon high on "u4EA" at a rave (hee!) and totals his car. but soapnet hasn't aired that one yet, so i am obsessing over her first.]
this was the status quo. it's not like E.V. had a lotttt of COMPETISH..i mean, what the FUCK was happening in the wardrobe dept? brenda is dressed like ralph kramden. (honeymooners joke? what???)
i have now watched the episode where she makes her triumphant appearance in the halls of west beverly oh, about, 6 times (i do what i want, jeals?).
sorry BRANDO, dylan already asked her out in the parking lot. go shove zuckerman up against the desk of the newspaper office, she was DYING FOR IT.
she gets a date with dylan, brandon, & steve in about ten seconds and shows up to her first day of school on a motorcyle, in a leather jacket and red lips with a guitar. the girls all band against her and call her a slut! jealous bitches!
haters! sidenote, if i had the wherewithall i would start a blog called "what donna wore" cause this bitch was crazytown times infinity. PROPS TO YOU, DONNA MARTIN. i forgot about your levelz.
the writers were def psyched on the creation of this character btw, the name "emily valentine" is uttered like 57 times in the hour.
the time period of this episode is roughly 3 days, i think. but the amount of outfit changes is CRAZY>in one hour there are just SO. MANY.
i can tell you her absolute WORST one: this elementary school librarian tasteful coat ensemble she wore to the peach pit was hidz. this is a date with DYLAN MCKAY bitch, TURN IT OUT.
oy. nate was ALSO smitten with her, as well as david silver. i am surprised that daddy walsh didn't grab her ass while she was in the kitchen but that is more of a move for an ep of the OC.
she shoulda worn this, this shit was hot...tiny tight mini and a david byrne stop making sense-esque GIANT jacket:
dope. she played janis joplin songs on that guitar at lunch. HA!
brenda bitchybitched all over her at a fam bbq while she wore this...what up lissie trullie, i know what you watched last summer, and it was this episode, CAUGHT.
i love her big FINALE outfit the best...leatherdaddy hat, babydoll top, pearls, WHITE LACE TRIMMED BIKE SHORTS and black boots.
amaze. so bad/good. so NOW. haaa.
this is the only time the brat trio rivaled E.V. for fashness, and it's only because they dressed up like the robert palmer girls (you don't want to know the reason why...it's so inane. it involved a song parody called "addicted to clothes"...it's worse than you imagine)
changed my mind, not sparing you. here is the big finale. they "sing" this song instead, and at the end of the episode, brenda and dylan get back together. i'm sure i was SO EXCITED when i was 13 and saw this episode for the first time. oh youth.
note the foreshadowing for uninteresting nerd shooting himself in the face!
ps: no, i do not miss having a job; why do you ask?