I know you all have your countdown clocks at the READY, one week until I am ONE YEAR OLDER. Please stop wracking your brains, I have your gift right here:
MICRO PIGS! TEENY TINY TEACUP PIGLETSSSSSSS!
I mean, you guys...
Did you HEAR ME?
IT'S A PIG. and it fits in a TEACUPPPPPPPP!
Please meet Kurt Cobacon & King Vitamin.* Now GET IN THAT TEACUP.
Shit is BLOWIN UP.
I used to want a teepee. I used to want to live in one and stay there forever, wearing animal skins and smoking weed out of earth bongs but shit went too VIRAL- you can get one at Opening Ceremony in Tokyo and I saw teepee TATTOOS in Portland. PLAYED OUT, suckas.
But POCKET PIGLETS?
Mark my words dudes, those are the new TEEPEE.
Last weekend I saw a pig race at the NC state fair and I fell in hardcore likeylike with a potbellied piglet named #5 (Hunter said his name was Last Place. I don't care!)..he was so mellow and cool, ran the race and sauntered up the ramp back to his pen like, "Whatevs you guys, I didn't want those prize Cheetos anyways. What's on Bravo?".
It's in the ETHER. PIGS ARE IT!
PS *I can't take credit for the genius of the names. Whatevs, HUNTER..be smarter than me WHY DON'T YOU.
PPS I will mos def still eat bacon. Is that fucked?